Nothing Left to Live For
by Quixotic101
Summary: Izaya was human just like the rest of them, no matter how inhumane he seemed. So when pushed too far, even he would eventually crack, and crack he did. WARNING: HINTS OF RAPE AS WELL AS MAJOR CHARACTER DEATHS!


So I've currently been watching Durarara! Lately and have totally fallen in love with the ship of a certain information broker and the monster of Ikebukuro. Yes, I am talking about Shizaya. Now I'm going to go on a rant so if you don't want to read it don't. So basically to me they could honestly both be on top or bottom. That said, I still like Shizaya more than Izuo just because in my point of view Izaya, despite having a personality like a seme's, still seems like a uke. He needs to be taken down a few notches usually and who better to do so than Shizuo? Now I don't see Shizuo on top due to his monstrous strength. That certainly is a factor, as well as the fact that he's often the chaser in their " cat and mouse" game, but it's mostly the way he acts that makes me see him as seme. And that concludes my rant.

Now that we're done with that here is the warning: there will be rape, suicide, and major characters death in here so if you don't like those things or you can't stand them, don't read. Also keep in mind that this story will not have a happy ending.

I do not own Durarara!

* * *

 _Pain, anguish, heartbreak. That was all he felt these days when he was in Ikebukuro. Wherever he went, he could feel the hateful glares of people on his back. He loved humans so much, at least, what he perceived to be love. So why did they hate him instead?_

Sobs racked through the brunette male's body as he sat on his bed all alone and shaking. The temperature of the room was freezing, but he seemed not to notice. Eyes that used to be filled with mischievousness were now two blank, hollow brown orbs. Skin that used to be pale and unblemished was now a sickly yellow with bruises dotted here and there. His body that used to be lean and fit was now too thin to be considered normal, his malnourishment clear. But honestly, at this point, Izaya didn't care anymore.

 _If only Shizu-chan could see me now. No matter how much I can go toe to toe with him, I'm still a human at the end of the day._ The information broker laughed bitterly and staggered to his feet, swaying to and fro as he headed towards his supply of alcohol. Grabbing a bottle of the strongest vodka he had, the male glugged it down messily, causing the alcohol to spill from his mouth and all over his dirty shirt. As he continued to drench himself to drown out his sorrows, Izaya eventually slipped into the restless grasps of sleep.

* * *

" _Hmm, he does have a gorgeous body."_

" _AHHHH! NO STOP!"_

" _Fuck you're so tight."_

" _St-stop please."_

" _Is the mighty Izaya Orihara begging?"_

" _Damn you are a dirty little whore."_

" _Nghnnnn! Ah, stop it!"_

* * *

" _What the hell? You're not our brother, we never considered you family."_

" _You're such a weakling, pretending to be strong while in reality you're nothing more than a disgusting piece of vermin."_

" _I never was actually friends with him Celty, don't you worry."_

" _That's good Shinra, a guy like him doesn't deserve friends anyway."_

" _You? Useful? Don't kid yourself, you're nothing more than a used piece of trash."_

" _You even worse than sushi killer."_

* * *

Izaya woke with a start, taking in short breaths as he had yet again the same nightmares all those nights before. Streams of translucent water trickled down his cheeks as the voices of the night he was raped as well as the words spoken from his friends and family went over and over in his head like a broken tape recording. Never stopping, replaying over and over again.

Shakily, he managed to get on to his feet. The clothes he was wearing hadn't been washed for a week or so but he didn't care about hygiene now.

 _I just need one more person's opinion. And then I'll know what to do._ Izaya thought as he headed out, feeling the familiar sharpness of his pocketknives in his jacket pocket.

* * *

" IZAYAAAAAA!" A scream echoed down the streets of Ikebukuro, " DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO SET FOOT IN THIS PLACE?" A tall blonde man

" Hello Shizu-chan." Izaya greeted, though it lacked his usual teasing tone. The blonde was too caught up in his rage to notice though.

" Shizu-chan, I have a question."

" What is it? And my name is Shizuo Heiwajima you flea!"

" What do you think of me?"

" What?"

" I said, what do you think of me?"

" Well flea, I think that you are the most annoying person on the planet. You are a pure hypocrite who claims to love humans but hurts them at every turn. You play with everyone's emotions and in doing so cause so many people to die at their own hands. You piss me off, as well as everyone else in this world. The people who you consider your friends really aren't your friends at all. In fact I don't even know why they're still pretending to be friends with a disgusting person like you. And for your info, I hate you so much I wish you'd just kill yourself." Shizuo finished his speech off with a smirk, not knowing that every word he said was like a knife driving through the smaller male's heart, and tearing the wound it had gotten wider and wider.

" I see." Izaya nodded, putting a fake smile on his face, " That's all I need then. Thank you Shizuo Heiwajima." Then the brunette disappeared into the darkness all of a sudden.

" WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GO!" Shizuo screamed in rage, disregarding the fact that Izaya had finally called him by his real, his real full name.

After searching for the flea without any success, Shizuo finally stopped to rest. Sitting down on the pavement he thought: _I'm sorry Izaya, but I can't let you know that I love you._

* * *

Panting, a certain information broker finally pulled himself to the top of the thirty feet high building.

" I think this is tall enough." Izaya murmured as he looked down from the ledge of the building he was standing on. Taking out his pocketknife, he slowly began to carve onto the flesh of his arm: I love you Shizuo.

After he was done with mutilating his arm, the brunette took a deep breath, his very last one, and flung himself off the building towards the ground.

As the air whistled past his cheek, Izaya finally smiled a real smile, a broken and melancholy yet real smile. His first in many years. Suddenly, he felt a sickening crack as immense pain flooded his body and then everything faded black and was soon no more.

* * *

The next day Shizuo went around Ikebukuro yet again searching for the flea, but he couldn't find the brunette anywhere. Walking to and fro, the blonde stumbled across a deserted alley that a thirty-foot tall building's shadow covered in darkness.

A glimpse of light caught the male's eye and he walked deeper into the alley. A horrible and wrangled cry suddenly erupted from his throat. There lying on the ground in a pool of dried blood was Izaya Orihara. The bones on his body looked all broken as the body was bent in unnatural angles all around. The brunette's eyes were open, but there was no more life left in them anymore. They weren't filled with the mischievousness that Shizuo loved about Izaya's eyes; no they were a blank and empty brown.

" Izaya?" The blonde haired man whispered softly, reaching out to shake the smaller male's arm slightly. " Izaya, wake up, this isn't funny. Flea wake up, wake up! STOP PLAYING AROUND! IZAYA!"

But there was no sense of life in the brunette, his spirit had already faded and all that was left was the dry husk of a shell.

Shizuo suddenly saw the carving on Izaya's arm: I love you Shizuo. He let out a heart-wrenching scream as he buried his face into Izaya's now cold jacket. Sobs echoed from the monster of Ikebukuro as he repeated dazedly over and over again: " I love you Izaya, I love you too!"

Picking the body up bridal styled, he raced to Shinra and Celty's house before he stopped cold in his tracks. _They never liked him remember? What makes you think they will now?_

Slowly falling into the pit of madness, Shizuo brought Izaya up to the building in which he had previously fallen from. " Izaya." He dryly whispered, his voice hoarse and cracked. " I'm coming for you."

Then he flung himself too over the building, still cradling Izaya's cold body. _We will be together my love, finally._ Everything faded away.

* * *

A day after, it was announced all over Ikebukuro: Shizuo Heiwajima and Izaya Orihara had died, embracing each other until the end. Friends and family, and even strangers came to mourn, but none could truly understand how it happened. The two's friends never realized that it was their words, that had caused this tragedy to happen. And they never would.

* * *

And so that's the story. I'm really sorry if you guys are all like: HOW DARE YOU KILL THEM etc. etc., but I did put a warning that said major character's death and stuff so yeah. Also this is my first time writing angst so please don't be too harsh when it comes down to criticism. I hope you all enjoyed it I suppose?


End file.
